Wednesday, October 12, 2011

A non-ideal life

No one is more surprised than I am to find myself in this cookie-cutter role of a mother-wife-entrepreneur. I always thought I'd be a ball-busting corporate bitch living in a posh condo with LV suitcases ready to jetset at any time. But here I am, 6.5mos pregnant with my second child, waiting for my husband with carbonara on the table. I've been carrying the homemaker role pretty well maintaing an orderly house, raising a healthy son and caring for the man of the house. I have a thriving business as well as sports and hobbies that I attend to when I am able. But sometimes I wonder if all these are enough... deep down I know I am meant for more...I just haven't figured it out yet...

Tuesday, September 27, 2011


Nacho is at the age when he demands full attention... anything less just won't do! With my pregnancy and Pep in full throttle, I avoid being alone with him by going to the office as much as necessary and coming home to either a tasmanian devil who clambers all over me or a sleeping angel whose long lashes disguise his superhuman abilities to exhaust everyone within perimeter.

I thought about how I was pretty much left on my own as a child and that maybe it's ok to do the same with Nacho since i turned out fine. But seeing him grow up right before my eyes, actually communicate in phrases and even full sentences ("Sino 'to... Iron Man?", "Ayan na cockroach", "Dami saging!" "Lagot ka Mama"...), have a sense of humor (he kisses the baby in my belly daw then proceeds to a noisy raspberry!), insist on his preferences ("I want Kung-fu Panda", "I said NO!")and know that he loves me and his father above everything else (he actually tries to fight off sleepiness just to spend more time with us at night)... I realize that I don't want to leave him on his own - not just because he might get messed up, but more so because I don't want to miss out on the adorable baby turning into an amazing little boy who throws the most terrible tantrums as quickly as the tightest hugs... hollers angry wails as loudly as his infectious laughters.

I have grand dreams of travels and luxuries but I thank God for the happiness of simple weekends wrapped in the arms and legs of my son.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Pre Natal Anxiety: The Ugly Child

Nacho is at that phase where he can switch from an obnoxiously hyper daredevil to charming little angel in a snap of a finger depending on which will yield his desired result. I can see right through that sweet smile of his but am not immune to submission when I'm already too tired to put up a fight... it's a given since I'm his mother. What amazes me is the amount of patience from my son's grandmas, uncles, aunts, even the market vendors who would extend discounts or let him play with quail eggs for his amusement. I figured they let him get away with murder (poor quail embryo!) because (thankfully) they think he's adorable!

It's a universal fact that attractive people have it easier than the aesthetically challenged lot but an old article in Time Magazine actually cites a study that 70% of abused or abandoned children had at least one apparent flaw in their appearance like distinct facial irregularities such as a cleft palate or a skin condition.

From childhood experience, my sister being the first and white as snow got preferential treatment to which I adapted by smartening up. I'm worried that my second child might not turn out to be as fair or as quick a learner as Nacho... given the novelty of having a baby in the family has worn off, would everybody still be as nice and patient?

To this my husband answers... "and that is why I pray he turns out to be a boy so his physical appearance will not matter as much. If our baby is a girl then it's a problem either way whether she's ugly or pretty!" Haaay, this calls for a different topic altogether!

Thursday, July 28, 2011

A Mommy’s Rainy Day Musing

I went with my sister to get her medical requirements for Australian visa application. Companions were not allowed so I waited at the dingy restaurant across the St. Luke’s Medical Center building in Malate. There I saw two babies both about a year old but under very different circumstances. One was sleeping peacefully as her mother went around the tables asking for alms while the other was bawling his eyes out as his young and very attractive parents tried to console him by bringing him back in the air-conditioned confines of their luxury car.

Maybe at infancy we already start adapting to life’s situations. When you’re used to all your needs being met, you get easily troubled by the slightest discomfort while if you’re used to heat and hunger, you learn to just sleep them off.

I thought about how I’m raising my son… he’s at the terrible two stage where he exhausts the lights out of me. Nacho can get very physical and temperamental that I start to wonder if it’s him or I might be doing something wrong. I already cancelled access to his favorite Incredible Hulk videos, introduced him to coloring activities and would reward him with dessert only after a proper meal, but nothing can seem to alleviate his stubbornness. Parents I know tell me this worst part will eventually pass… I really do hope so before I turn into a Casey Anthony.

When my son is old enough to understand I will expose him to the reality that while he will not get everything he wants, he still luckier than most kids… I just pray he grows up to be grateful for his blessings and selfless enough to share them.

Monday, July 25, 2011


The Amigas, as we called ourselves back in college, thought we would be living the Sex & the City life as we go about our successful careers, sharing a posh condo in Makati where we can shop, dine and party as much as we want.

12 years later...
Tams a.k.a Charlotte - the pretty and always proper prom queen is a stay-at-home mom of two with businesses on digital designs, production and printing on the side
Mau a.k.a Samantha - the adventurous temptress is a single mom working in a global financial institution whose stability belies her complex personal life
Ivy a.k.a Carrie - I thought I was Carrie but given her edgy take on fashion and wanderlust, Ivy is it... a blushin' newlywed who avoids the public pressure of childbearing by jetsetting with her husband
Me a.k.a Miranda - self employed mother of a terrible-two with another baby on the way. tries to remain sane by putting household and everyone within a mile radius in order

It's been ages since we got to catch up... oh we would get together in one or another's wedding and one or another child's birthday... until finally, a proper dinner in a nice and quiet restaurant with just the four of us!

Ordering was an icebreaker in itself given new food preferences and restrictions. after going through Momo Cafe's entire menu all with portions for sharing, we finally settled on Momo salad, potato skin with cheese fondue, chicken wings, pizza and cheesecake - that out of the way, the chatterfest began!

Updates although hurried were candid, quips and quotes flew back and forth oblivious to the posh diners surrounding our table. We all had cameras but we were so deep in conversation that nobody remembered to take a group photo of that very rare occasion! It's funny that no matter how much you thought you've changed, you always revert to the unpolished rock you were when thrown back in the mines. We were raw, stripped of all pretensions... who else can we be our truest selves with other than the dearest friends who knew us before we became diamonds.

Without a cue, we unanimously decided at 10pm that it was time to go home to our individual lives. We are all someplace we never thought we would be but without any regret... we have after all become better versions of ourselves at least in each others' eyes.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Shrimp & Roasted Garlic Spaghetti in Tomato Cream Sauce with Kesong Puti

Got my hands on some really fantastic Mr. Moo's kesong puti (white cheese)which I knew will be quickly banished to oblivion if I start spreading it on hot pandesal. Wanting to share it with the rest of the family, I decided to use it on pasta because Nacho just loves showing off his skill in slurping a full-length spaghetti!

I made this yesterday for our mom & son lunch date so I used tiger prawns to make it extra special - he shunned the toppings but loved the pasta as usual, but despite the snub, it really was pretty good!

Shrimp & Roasted Garlic Spaghetti in Tomato Cream Sauce with Kesong Puti
1/2kg Shrimps (shelled)
1/2c Mushrooms (optional)
1 large head of Garlic
150ml Tomato Sauce
150ml All-Purpose Cream
1tbsp Butter
5pcs Basil Leaves
4"sq. Kesong Puti (white cheese cubed)
500g Spaghetti or Penne (cooked)

1) Bake garlic (unhusked) in oven toaster for 15mins. Peel and mash with fork.
2) Saute garlic in butter, add shrimps, mushrooms and basil.
3) Pour in tomato sauce and all-purpose cream. Season with salt and pepper. If sauce is too thick, add in Olive Oil.
4) Turn off heat and add Kesong Puti.

Monday, June 27, 2011

This Will Be The Last Time I Will Be Fat & Pregnant!

I'm pregnant again!

Nacho will be two years and five months old by the time I give birth. I'm lucky to have my mom stay with us but without a reliable househelp, managing my company and Tats' impending provincial assignment, raising two kids is going to be very challenging. Thus I have decided to get my tubes tied after Baby No.2. My OB said I'm too young and to wait in case I change my mind and want more kids but I was already happy with one... having two will be enough.

When my pregnancy test yielded two stripes I wasn't exactly elated and I felt guilty for not being as excited this second time yet annoyed because it caught me at a very hectic time at work and I can certainly do away with the bloating and dizzy spells. I also thought it was too soon and that Nacho needed more of our undivided affection. Memories of emails and phonecalls in between baby's nap, discreetly breastfeeding in public, dairy express after client meetings, 3-minute baths and anxiety attacks over vomit and snot came swarming back. There's also the unsightly dark pouch of a belly that takes too long to go away and the stretchmarks that remain for good. On top of it all, it's the lessened mobility (no running & rowing)and the isolation from the social circle that I have yet to reconnect to.

My concerns may seem selfish and can be solved with available conveniences like infant formula, nurseries, liposuction or a troop of highly paid househelp but I am a woman of limited means yet I intend to give my children the best that I can - the commitment to breastfeed exclusively for at least 6 months, the ability to pay off amortization for a house they can call their own, the attention to recognize their strengths and weaknesses, the fitness to keep up with their energy, the travel opportunities to open up their worlds and the well roundedness to inspire their dreams. As it is I already get very exhausted with my multiple roles in life, I don't want to be spread out too thinly... so again, only two kids for me!

Funny that I never even thought of this cookie-cutter life of "wife-mother-homemaker-entrepreneur" for myself and neither did my family or friends. We thought I'd be a high-powered executive living the swingin' single life! Oh well... here I am and I'm happy =)